Saturday, January 26, 2013

Weekly Chores for The Working Mom

I'm sure you're familiar with Pinterest....

Every so often, I'll see pins from my buddies of a weekly chore list. Basically, it's a list of items that Mom should do each day to keep the house sparkling, and the list is always "so doable."

This week, one of my friends posted such a list for, get this, "The Working Mom."

!

My own list of chores!

Here's what I need to do every day to have a sparkling house, and this is "sooo doable."

Everyday before work:
Make beds
Empty dishwasher
Put in one load of laundry

This is an hour's worth of stuff, honestly. (Maybe I should institute an auto-sort laundry system as has been suggested on certain Pinterest pins. Do I trust The Working Dad to correctly sort?)

Anyway, I already get up before 6 a.m. to exercise (or I'm supposed to). Should I make that five in order to fit in these daily chores?

Then there are once a week, presumably, after work chores....

Monday: clean bathrooms
Tuesday: dust
Wednesday: vacuum
Thursday: mop floors
Friday: free!
Saturday: swing day
Sunday: free!

Seriously? I get home by 6 each evening. I need to feed The Boy, do potty time, bathe him, brush his teeth, do book time, and then put him to bed. (While The Working Dad gets dinner started and does whatever odds and end around the house that need attending to on whatever given day while I'm getting The Boy ready for bed....)

Ta-da! And just like that, it's 8 o'clock at our house. Time for The Working Dad and I to cook our own meal (if he's not already done it), eat, visit for a few minutes and then go to bed. Should I dump the chatting with my husband part to do these chores? What if we just order in every night so we skip the cooking part. That's healthy. Anyway, any real cleaning or dusting or vacuuming of the house beyond a lick and a promise is going to take another hour of time, at least. Even a lick and a promise may take an hour or so.

And footnote: I've been working all freaking day, it's 8 p.m., and I'd like a glass of wine and a little relaxation time.  Sure, there are two "free" days there, so I suppose you get to relax two evenings a week, but that's about five too few for me.  This schedule would have me going until 9 p.m.

So in addition to your eight hour work day, you, working lady, have two hours of house cleaning to do before you get to put your feet up.

But wait!  There's more!  There are swing day chores!

Swing Days:
First week - clean oven, microwave and fridge
Second week - wipe down walls baseboards and doors
Third week - clean inside windows and blinds
Fourth week - wipe down cabinets

Swing day, Saturday, the one day of the week The Working Mom has with no commitments, free time to spend with the family.  No, the cleaning calendar has your day filled with big projects and "catch up."

Fundamentally, the whole concept of the working mom's cleaning schedule rubs me the wrong way. Dad doesn't have to pitch in? The creator of the working mom's chore schedule says that her husband "is a manager" and works 60 to 70 hours a week, "enough said." No, it isn't enough said! He makes half the mess, he eats the food she no doubt cooks, he can pick up a broom at 8 p.m. as easily as she can. And what about working women who have "big important jobs," just like boys do. I've got a female friend who easily makes twice what her husband makes. I suppose that means she doesn't have to wash a dish since she works longer hours and makes more money. Guess what really happens at that house.....

Heck, if the morning and evening chores were divided between mom and dad, it's just 30 minutes a piece, in theory. Instead of mom slaving away while dad watches the news and unwinds after a hard day at his important job, maybe they both do a little cleaning and then hang with each other too.

Moreover, if the kids are old enough to swish a toilet bowl, where are their chores on this list?

And, by the way, where's the time for exercise in this schedule, or an avocation like playing a musical instrument or writing a blog or both? Where's fun?

Obviously, this schedule works for its creator, but to me, I see utter slavery to the family. I see a ready-maid (pun intended) basis for martyrdom on the part of the creator too.

But, I suppose, there is a grain of usefulness in the calendar. If you are not fortunate enough to be able to afford a cleaning service, having a plan of how to get the chores done is a good idea, for both working parents and the kids (if they're old enough).  Study after study shows that working women, on average, still carry a disproportionate amount of the household duties, even though they are bringing home half or more than half of the income for the family. We work just as hard as dad does at work. He should pitch in at home. If there's going to be a chore calendar, the calendar should have his assignments too. If dad doesn't want to help mom out, when, arguable she's helping him out by carrying part of the family economic burden, then that's a problem with dad.