Several months ago, I read an article on Slate.com about parents who were visiting reproductive endocrinologists in order to do genetic testing, and other manipulations, to ensure they would get a girl baby.
I have more than one friend who has confessed initial disappointment that their baby-to-come would be a boy. So I know there's the possibility for sex preference out there. For me, I was just so relieved to hear that the amniocentesis report said that the baby was healthy I honestly did not care whether he was a boy or a girl. But I know that lots of people do care, at least initially. As the character, Brian, on The New Normal said in a recent episode, "Everyone has a preference."
But I know that the preference is typically fleeting because those friends who have confessed initial disappointment at finding out that they were having a boy also disclosed that they soon came to love the idea of a son. And, this is even true for a friend with multiple sons and no daughters. She may have hoped for a girl, but she is content with, and happy with, boys.
The Slate article describes that these women dream of sharing their girl-stuff -- like shopping and clothes and crafts and dolls -- with daughters, so much so that they consider aborting male fetuses. First, I reject the notion that boys can't go shopping or do crafts or play with dolls. (Just asked my brother who played a lot of Barbies with me 30+ years ago.)
And second, honestly, at times, it seems like a reporter in search of a trend piece, and not a real trend. But then the tales have wafted across the Pacific for decades of the Chinese preference for boys and selective abortion of female fetuses that the story sounds a note of truth. And I wonder about the psychology of someone who would reject a child based upon gender.
I love that reproductive endocrinology exists. Without this miracle science, we would not have The Boy. I also love that genetic screens like amniocentesis and preimplantation genetic diagnosis exist. They give parents peace of mind, or at least allow them to prepare in advance for problems if they are detected. (And yes, the opportunity for early termination, if that is their choice.)
But there is something very unsettling about using these technologies just so mommy can have a tea party with her little girl. I mean, honestly, grow up. To the extent people are really even doing this, they are manipulating nature for the trivial opportunity to put bows in their children's hair. In reading the article, I silently wished tomboys on the lot of them.
Now, excuse me, I have to go play race cars, now, and feed crackers to the teddy bears.
