Also, Alpha, Beta, and Gamma don't go anywhere anymore. When I used to go to doggy daycare, they would go to their own daycares, I guess, and then either Alpha or Beta -- usually Beta -- would pick me up at the end of the day of playing chasey-chase, which, did I mention, I don't get to do anymore because there are no other dogs in our house.
On the plus side, I have been able to guard our den perimeter pretty successfully and have managed to keep many other packs from invading our turf.
Also, Alpha and I walk probably 30,000 miles a day now around our neighborhood on what I like to call wide patrol. I do see other dogs when we are on wide patrol, but I have to tell those dogs to get outta here because this is my territory, unless it's the cute cavachon that lives on the cul de sac down the way (she's a pretty alright girl) or my best friend, G, who is often also out on wide patrol with one or more of her people. Frankly, I don't know what this neighborhood would do without G and me protecting it from invasion.
Also, I get to sit with Alpha on the sofa a lot, and I get good head scratches from Beta. So having the people around isn't all bad . . . but still, no chasey-chase with other dogs is a high price to pay.
Gamma plays a lot with his plastic blocks and little plastic men with claws for hands. When I was a puppy, I chewed on one of those little men and swallowed a claw (not the rest of the man, just his claw). Alpha found the claw the next day in my poop. She's a good Den Leader. I know that she's the Den Leader because she calls herself that and sometimes refers to us as Bears and not dogs (or people or whatever).
Also, though, she's the Den Leader because she's Alpha.
At the end of every wide patrol, Alpha and/or Beta washes my paws and sings a song for each paw. This is a weird procedure, and not one we used to employ when I used to get to go play chasey-chase at doggy daycare, but it's better than this stinky stuff that Beta called "hand sanitizer," which they put on my paws for a couple of days after walks and THAT I HATED. Alpha said hand sanitizer is not good for dogs and Beta agreed . . . because she's Alpha, and also she had a website to back up her claim.
Today, though, at the end of our last wide patrol of the day, Alpha didn't just wash my paws, but MY WHOLE BODY. But I got her because I shook the water off all over her. She said that I had started to smell "like a dog," to which I replied, "Well, duh, Alpha." Alpha is smart, but she's still just a human.
Okay, well, I need to start getting ready to demand some part of the dinner that Alpha, Beta, and Gamma are going to eat. They feed me my Royal Canin Small Adult Dog Food every night, but I like it topped with something tasty like green beans or broccoli or the soupy stuff from black beans. I need to make sure that they do that, you know, by yipping at them and/or whining, and that takes mental preparation.
Your friend, The Dog 🐶
