I mean, individually, we women, we working moms, we stay-at-home moms, we something-in-betweenness: we set impossible standards for ourselves.
We put pressure on ourselves where none needs to be: breast feeding, home schooling, family dinner, organic foods, television, co-sleeping, cry-it-out, baby wearing, attachment parenting, time outs . . . our weight, our looks.
And we judge our friends as harshly as we judge ourselves.
I guess I was reminded of this recently, by this video, a Similac formula commercial, for Pete's sake. It shows us all in all of our self-righteous glory -- even the baby-wearing dads.
And while we are judging -- ourselves, our friends -- we are doing only one thing. With all of our self-imposed requirements of parenthood, we are subjugating ourselves as people. We are crushing ourselves under the weight of expectations that we have no right to demand. Enslaved by the breast pump. Defeated by words like organic, natural, free range and whole grain. Conquered by a thousand "better" methods to discipline and control (indeed, subjugate?) our children. A tyranny of a crowd of "better ways" and obligations and judgments and joyless self-sacrifice . . . all in the name of "good parenting." We hold ourselves back and down with our lofty ambitions, instead of pushing ourselves up and forward.
We are parents. We are love. Our children are joy. We should rise and praise and smile and encourage. Just as we do with our kids, we should do with ourselves, and each other.
"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so let us all be thankful." -- Gautama Siddhartha, the Buddha
I am thankful for my health, and my family, and my job . . . and I am thankful for you diverse crowd of parent peers who do things differently than me, or the same as me, or somewhere in the middle.
I am glad we are all trying.
We put pressure on ourselves where none needs to be: breast feeding, home schooling, family dinner, organic foods, television, co-sleeping, cry-it-out, baby wearing, attachment parenting, time outs . . . our weight, our looks.
And we judge our friends as harshly as we judge ourselves.
I guess I was reminded of this recently, by this video, a Similac formula commercial, for Pete's sake. It shows us all in all of our self-righteous glory -- even the baby-wearing dads.
And while we are judging -- ourselves, our friends -- we are doing only one thing. With all of our self-imposed requirements of parenthood, we are subjugating ourselves as people. We are crushing ourselves under the weight of expectations that we have no right to demand. Enslaved by the breast pump. Defeated by words like organic, natural, free range and whole grain. Conquered by a thousand "better" methods to discipline and control (indeed, subjugate?) our children. A tyranny of a crowd of "better ways" and obligations and judgments and joyless self-sacrifice . . . all in the name of "good parenting." We hold ourselves back and down with our lofty ambitions, instead of pushing ourselves up and forward.
We are parents. We are love. Our children are joy. We should rise and praise and smile and encourage. Just as we do with our kids, we should do with ourselves, and each other.
"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so let us all be thankful." -- Gautama Siddhartha, the Buddha
I am thankful for my health, and my family, and my job . . . and I am thankful for you diverse crowd of parent peers who do things differently than me, or the same as me, or somewhere in the middle.
I am glad we are all trying.
