Valentine's Day, the day when everyone who is single is made to feel worthless by a society and culture that prizes shopping, couplehood, and drama.
I remember those Valentine's Days in college when the front entry table in the sorority house would fill with flowers. How obnoxious it was when a girl would get two bouquets! (Not that she could help it, but it was still obnoxious.). And worse, how it felt a little not-good when there wasn't a bouquet for me.
My husband remembers what I wore to work that first Valentine's Day we knew each other, barely a week after he started working at our formerly mutual employer: it was a black tee-shirt with "Love Stinks" written across the chest in red rhinestones. (Hat tip to the J. Giles Band....)
And that's pretty much how I felt about it. Valentine's Day could take a long walk off a short plank, for all I cared. "You can keep your heart-shaped Whitman's sampler, thanks. I'm going to get drunk by myself on this bottle if screw top red wine watching Bridget Jones's Diary and Bend It Like Beckham.... by myself."
I mean, I wanted to ignore this loathesome holiday, but the culture wouldn't let me. They set up tents of roses in the grocery store parking lots, for the love of Pete! I couldn't even safely shop for my Velveeta and Rotel tomatoes that would accompany my cheap-ass wine on my All by Myself movie night. Geez.
Valentine's Day was not a fun day.
But it's not just the singletons who suffer on Valentine's Day. For the attached, Valentine's Day can be filled with unfulfilled expectations. If one's sweetheart doesn't sweet it up in just the right way one expects (will he propose?!), then the Sweet Day of Love turns instantly into the Bitter Day of Recrimination and Regret.
It's a meanace, this holiday, built mostly of red roses, woe and chocolate.
It's only, now, in my 40s and happily married, that I don't still revile this insidious day the way I did in days of yore. (Though I'm still no big fan of the Day of Cupid.)
We happily minimize its significance in our house. The Working Dad and I know we value each other every day. We don't need Valentine's Day to help us along.
Still, I've got two sweet guys in my life who deserve a hug and kiss every day. And they'll get them tomorrow too, same as every day. (Plus, one of them may get Duplos and a book.)
In church, I used to hear all the time that we should keep Easter and Christmas in our hearts all year long, not just when the holiday rolls around. I'd like to advocate for that for Valentine's Day as well -- show our loved ones we love them every day (even the singletons), not just in a grand display on the day that FTD tells us to do it.
Love doesn't stink, after all. But schlocky commercialization and unreasonable expectations sure do.
Happy Valentine's Day, friends. Here's hoping your day is schlock-free and lovely.
