Watching the sunrise as I ran around the neighborhood, while Elvis Costello warbled Pump It Up into my ears....
Figuring out that I ran about a 10:30 minute/mile this morning, the fastest in a long time....
Racing a frog as I ran down the neighborhood sidewalk, and he/she hopped on the grass.... (I won, by the way...eventually.)
Good morning!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Exercise Obstacles: Time and Motivation
As I lay here at 5:45 a.m., having been awakened by a giant black and white cat sleeping on my head, I contemplate the greatest struggle of all working parents: lack of time.
Because, unlike before babies, we don't have a few hours in the evening to put to our own purposes. We leave the job we have to have (and sometimes love to do) and go to the job we (or a least I) always wanted, that of parent. Evenings belong to our children, now. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
But it does pose challenge to the working parent to squeeze in exercise around a 40 hour work week, and morning and evening child care. And, ironically, the birth of a child focuses the mind on the fact that you are mortal, and thus need the exercise to keep your health so that you can keep on parenting.
I coupled motivation with time in this blog post because they are really the same thing. If you are motivated to exercise, you will find the time to do it. I've often heard that you can tell what people value by looking at where they spend their time and treasure. If you value your health, you will find a way to spend your time on it.
And, health, by the way, appears to me to be the best motivator for exercise, not jeans size or appearance. No. No, no matter what people say about wanting to be size X, that motivation tends to fade in the face of a really yummy cookie. But fear of death is another thing. When I talk to people, they want to exercise (and lose weight) chiefly to maintain or improve their health because they don't want to die just yet. Personally, a marginally high blood pressure when I was in my early 30s caused me to finally buy running shoes (quit my law firm job) and lose weight. It wasn't the big clothes I was wearing. It was the biggish numbers on the blood pressure cuff and my sincere hope to see my age become a big number that did it for me.
So if you have the motivation, how do you find the time? Well, there are no easy answers. Lots of people I know get up really early to do it. Others join a gym near the office and do it over lunch (but I would need a shower after and that eats up time in the middle of the day). I'll tell you what I do: I try to exercise on both days of the weekend and then a couple of days during the week. For the weekday sessions that either means getting up early or taking off leave to do it. But, even though my leave balance is really low, it's worth it to me to protect my health. Where you spend your time and treasure....
Speaking of time, exercise, and motivation, since it's 6:05 a.m., and I'm obviously not going back to sleep, might as well get a quick run in.
Morning, friends!
Because, unlike before babies, we don't have a few hours in the evening to put to our own purposes. We leave the job we have to have (and sometimes love to do) and go to the job we (or a least I) always wanted, that of parent. Evenings belong to our children, now. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
But it does pose challenge to the working parent to squeeze in exercise around a 40 hour work week, and morning and evening child care. And, ironically, the birth of a child focuses the mind on the fact that you are mortal, and thus need the exercise to keep your health so that you can keep on parenting.
I coupled motivation with time in this blog post because they are really the same thing. If you are motivated to exercise, you will find the time to do it. I've often heard that you can tell what people value by looking at where they spend their time and treasure. If you value your health, you will find a way to spend your time on it.
And, health, by the way, appears to me to be the best motivator for exercise, not jeans size or appearance. No. No, no matter what people say about wanting to be size X, that motivation tends to fade in the face of a really yummy cookie. But fear of death is another thing. When I talk to people, they want to exercise (and lose weight) chiefly to maintain or improve their health because they don't want to die just yet. Personally, a marginally high blood pressure when I was in my early 30s caused me to finally buy running shoes (quit my law firm job) and lose weight. It wasn't the big clothes I was wearing. It was the biggish numbers on the blood pressure cuff and my sincere hope to see my age become a big number that did it for me.
So if you have the motivation, how do you find the time? Well, there are no easy answers. Lots of people I know get up really early to do it. Others join a gym near the office and do it over lunch (but I would need a shower after and that eats up time in the middle of the day). I'll tell you what I do: I try to exercise on both days of the weekend and then a couple of days during the week. For the weekday sessions that either means getting up early or taking off leave to do it. But, even though my leave balance is really low, it's worth it to me to protect my health. Where you spend your time and treasure....
Speaking of time, exercise, and motivation, since it's 6:05 a.m., and I'm obviously not going back to sleep, might as well get a quick run in.
Morning, friends!
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Exercise Obstacles: Time to Get Real
There are a lot of topics that I, the self-designated "working mom," could write about. Furloughs and other losses of income. New arguments about why you should marry straight out of college instead of at 37, like the big ol' loser I am.
North Korea.
But all of those topics kind of stress me out and bring me down (especially since my husband and I are among those federal workers facing furloughs), so I'm going to focus for a few weeks on things that lift me up.
And exercise always makes me feel good. So let's talk about that.
And since exercise makes me (can I say it makes "us," gentle reader) feel so good, it's a bafflement why we sometimes throw up roadblocks, or succumb to certain obstacles, that keep us from exercising. So in the next few posts, I'm going to focus on some of my personal obstacles and how I have dealt with and/or am dealing with them.
So at this point, I should warn the squeamish: Because I'm not about to talk about something simple, like lack of motivation or time (but we'll get to those too). No, today, it's time to get real. Time to talk about a condition we don't ever really want to discuss . . . .
Hello, my name is The Working Mom and for the past two years I have suffered from stress incontinence.
Stress incontinence is the spontaneous, uncontrollable loss of urine when your badder is under stress like from a sneeze, a cough, a laugh . . . or running.
Stress incontinence affects women more than men and it affects these sorts of women more than others:
Older women
Women who have given vaginal birth
Overweight or obese women
Women who have had previous pelvic surgery
For me, given the timing of the onset of stress incontinence, vaginal birth is the likely culprit. The first time I went running after The Boy was born, when he was about 3 months old by my recollection, I pissed myself so thoroughly that my socks were wet.
All I felt was the gush of fluid as I ran. There was no urge to pee, just a flood of urine.
At first, I thought maybe I was bleeding. In horror, I put my hand between my legs to check for blood. To my relief, and a new sort of horror, I did not find blood but "water." I realized instantly that I'd peed.
I walked home, dripping, and took a shower.
I cannot describe how humiliated and defeated I felt. I had been looking forward to running again. And my body -- not my legs or my feet or my lungs, but my bladder -- wouldn't let me.
I had had incontinence problems in the days and weeks immediately postpartum, which is ironic given that I had difficulty voiding my bladder completely while still at the hospital. But on the day we went home, I had my first accident standing in the middle of the kitchen. The car was not yet completely unloaded and suddenly I had soaked my sweatpants. In the weeks that followed, I took great care to go to the bathroom frequently so I wouldn't have more accidents. The problem soon limited itself to leaks associated with sneezes, coughs, and, occasionally, laughter.
In retrospect, then, I shouldn't have been surprised that day when I first went out running. If I couldn't hold it when I sneezed, why did I think I could hold it running? But, honestly, I hadn't thought about it. I just wanted to go back to exercising the way I had been exercising, pre-baby, pre-infertility treatments.
Over the next few weeks I would try running again, off and on. I'd avoid drinking anything before the run and would try to completely void my bladder. And sometimes that would work. (I am thankful to The Working Dad's complete sanguinity at my occasional announcements that "I didn't piss myself this time!," upon entering the house after a particularly dry run.) But other times, though I had observed all the same tricks - no liquids, pee thoroughly - I would come home with a wet saddle area.
So I quit running. I told myself I needed more time to heal, that I had started running too soon, that I had pushed myself too hard. Months went by. I would walk for exercise, and occasionally I would run a few minutes during the walk...and piss myself again. It was incredibly depressing and demoralizing.
Finally, when The Boy was about 16 months old, I went to my doctor. He reassured my that this was normal...annoying, but normal. He said lots of women have this problem post-partum. He suggested that I do Kegels to strengthen my pelvic floor muscles, which would help me stop the urine when I cough, sneeze, laugh and run. (If you are unfamiliar with Kegels, they're basically crunches for your downstairs girl part.)
So I did try that. And they did work for the coughs, sneezes, and laughs. But not the running. Occasionally, I would still have a gush mid-run, and every time it happened, it was just as defeating and humiliating as the first time...worse, even, since everything else had gotten better.
So at that point, which was the middle of last summer, it was time to get real. If I really wanted to run, and if I did not want to be stopped in my tracks by a flood of pee, then I had to do something to control the problem. Yes, I know what you're thinking. I'm only 42. But I am a 42 year old who occasionally floods her shoes when she runs.
So, yes, I bought some Depends to run in.
And it was the most liberating thing ever. Finally, I could concentrate on the running and not be distracted by whether or not I was going to pee this time.
It's been several months and several boxes of Depends since I broke down and bought them. (You can order them from Amazon, by the way, so you don't have to do the check out counter these-are-for-my-grandma thing.) And the thing is, I barely need them anymore. Maybe time and those Kegels are finally having an effect on the running leaks. Hope so. And I've switched to Poise pads too because the leaks when I run are not as voluminous, and the pads are more comfortable than the diaper.
I often think about how there may come a day when I don't feel like I need an incontinence pad when I run. And that will be nice. But that day is a long way off. As weird as it sounds, that pad gives me the confidence to go out there and run in a manner approaching how I used to run. Without the pad, I wouldn't run as hard or long because I would worry about the next gusher coming. With the pad, it doesn't matter if the gusher comes. With the pad, l'll just piss myself and keep on running. :-)
North Korea.
But all of those topics kind of stress me out and bring me down (especially since my husband and I are among those federal workers facing furloughs), so I'm going to focus for a few weeks on things that lift me up.
And exercise always makes me feel good. So let's talk about that.
And since exercise makes me (can I say it makes "us," gentle reader) feel so good, it's a bafflement why we sometimes throw up roadblocks, or succumb to certain obstacles, that keep us from exercising. So in the next few posts, I'm going to focus on some of my personal obstacles and how I have dealt with and/or am dealing with them.
So at this point, I should warn the squeamish: Because I'm not about to talk about something simple, like lack of motivation or time (but we'll get to those too). No, today, it's time to get real. Time to talk about a condition we don't ever really want to discuss . . . .
Hello, my name is The Working Mom and for the past two years I have suffered from stress incontinence.
Stress incontinence is the spontaneous, uncontrollable loss of urine when your badder is under stress like from a sneeze, a cough, a laugh . . . or running.
Stress incontinence affects women more than men and it affects these sorts of women more than others:
Older women
Women who have given vaginal birth
Overweight or obese women
Women who have had previous pelvic surgery
For me, given the timing of the onset of stress incontinence, vaginal birth is the likely culprit. The first time I went running after The Boy was born, when he was about 3 months old by my recollection, I pissed myself so thoroughly that my socks were wet.
All I felt was the gush of fluid as I ran. There was no urge to pee, just a flood of urine.
At first, I thought maybe I was bleeding. In horror, I put my hand between my legs to check for blood. To my relief, and a new sort of horror, I did not find blood but "water." I realized instantly that I'd peed.
I walked home, dripping, and took a shower.
I cannot describe how humiliated and defeated I felt. I had been looking forward to running again. And my body -- not my legs or my feet or my lungs, but my bladder -- wouldn't let me.
I had had incontinence problems in the days and weeks immediately postpartum, which is ironic given that I had difficulty voiding my bladder completely while still at the hospital. But on the day we went home, I had my first accident standing in the middle of the kitchen. The car was not yet completely unloaded and suddenly I had soaked my sweatpants. In the weeks that followed, I took great care to go to the bathroom frequently so I wouldn't have more accidents. The problem soon limited itself to leaks associated with sneezes, coughs, and, occasionally, laughter.
In retrospect, then, I shouldn't have been surprised that day when I first went out running. If I couldn't hold it when I sneezed, why did I think I could hold it running? But, honestly, I hadn't thought about it. I just wanted to go back to exercising the way I had been exercising, pre-baby, pre-infertility treatments.
Over the next few weeks I would try running again, off and on. I'd avoid drinking anything before the run and would try to completely void my bladder. And sometimes that would work. (I am thankful to The Working Dad's complete sanguinity at my occasional announcements that "I didn't piss myself this time!," upon entering the house after a particularly dry run.) But other times, though I had observed all the same tricks - no liquids, pee thoroughly - I would come home with a wet saddle area.
So I quit running. I told myself I needed more time to heal, that I had started running too soon, that I had pushed myself too hard. Months went by. I would walk for exercise, and occasionally I would run a few minutes during the walk...and piss myself again. It was incredibly depressing and demoralizing.
Finally, when The Boy was about 16 months old, I went to my doctor. He reassured my that this was normal...annoying, but normal. He said lots of women have this problem post-partum. He suggested that I do Kegels to strengthen my pelvic floor muscles, which would help me stop the urine when I cough, sneeze, laugh and run. (If you are unfamiliar with Kegels, they're basically crunches for your downstairs girl part.)
So I did try that. And they did work for the coughs, sneezes, and laughs. But not the running. Occasionally, I would still have a gush mid-run, and every time it happened, it was just as defeating and humiliating as the first time...worse, even, since everything else had gotten better.
So at that point, which was the middle of last summer, it was time to get real. If I really wanted to run, and if I did not want to be stopped in my tracks by a flood of pee, then I had to do something to control the problem. Yes, I know what you're thinking. I'm only 42. But I am a 42 year old who occasionally floods her shoes when she runs.
So, yes, I bought some Depends to run in.
And it was the most liberating thing ever. Finally, I could concentrate on the running and not be distracted by whether or not I was going to pee this time.
It's been several months and several boxes of Depends since I broke down and bought them. (You can order them from Amazon, by the way, so you don't have to do the check out counter these-are-for-my-grandma thing.) And the thing is, I barely need them anymore. Maybe time and those Kegels are finally having an effect on the running leaks. Hope so. And I've switched to Poise pads too because the leaks when I run are not as voluminous, and the pads are more comfortable than the diaper.
I often think about how there may come a day when I don't feel like I need an incontinence pad when I run. And that will be nice. But that day is a long way off. As weird as it sounds, that pad gives me the confidence to go out there and run in a manner approaching how I used to run. Without the pad, I wouldn't run as hard or long because I would worry about the next gusher coming. With the pad, it doesn't matter if the gusher comes. With the pad, l'll just piss myself and keep on running. :-)
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
The American Family
I read an article yesterday (forgive me, I can't link to it using the Blogger iPhone app) on Slate that more women in their 20s are having babies out of wedlock. Most of these single moms have lower education levels.
Among those holding college degrees, the story is completely different. These women are getting married later, having babies after marriage, and then staying married.
The article suggests that an explanation for both phenomena is that marriage has become a "capstone event" in people's lives. Rather than being something that happened along the path of one's life, marriage is now the cake-topper. First you go to college, then you explore the world, then you get married.
And this idea that you need to progress up a life achievement ladder to marriage also explains why some people have babies and yet feel unready for marriage. They haven't reached the premarriage rungs yet, so they're not "ready" to slap the capstone of marriage on their lives. The existence of babies apparently doesn't change this.
This is a fundamental shift in the conception of marriage in just a generation.
But it makes sense:
When my parents got married, birth control was in its infancy (pardon the pun), abortion was illegal, and not a lot of women completed college or had demanding careers.
But that wasn't the case for my generation. We had the opportunity to prevent unwanted pregnancies. And we were encouraged by our mothers to get educations and delay marriage until we'd done some stuff.
This shift in the conception of marriage from a place where babies happen to a place where personal fulfillment is realized is a direct result of ladies like me delaying marriage and family in favor of education, personal exploration, and career.
Which brings me to gay marriage....
The argument goes that gay marriage will threaten the fundamental shape of the American Family by decoupling procreation from the marital unit. Leaving aside the obvious arguments that such a position fails to take into account infertile heterosexual couples or those heterosexual couples who choose not to have kids, the argument that gay marriage decouples marriage and children and turns marriage into an emotional and relational achievement is false.
Gay marriage does not and will not do that because it has already happened. And it happened under everybody's noses, and to many a parent's delight, as girls like me went to law school and delayed marriage and childbearing until we were in our 30s and 40s.
So don't blame the gay folks for the reimagining of the marital state. Marriage changed when your daughters went to school and work. Blame feminists for the change in the conception of marriage. Blame me. I reimagined it first. They're just following my lead.
Among those holding college degrees, the story is completely different. These women are getting married later, having babies after marriage, and then staying married.
The article suggests that an explanation for both phenomena is that marriage has become a "capstone event" in people's lives. Rather than being something that happened along the path of one's life, marriage is now the cake-topper. First you go to college, then you explore the world, then you get married.
And this idea that you need to progress up a life achievement ladder to marriage also explains why some people have babies and yet feel unready for marriage. They haven't reached the premarriage rungs yet, so they're not "ready" to slap the capstone of marriage on their lives. The existence of babies apparently doesn't change this.
This is a fundamental shift in the conception of marriage in just a generation.
But it makes sense:
When my parents got married, birth control was in its infancy (pardon the pun), abortion was illegal, and not a lot of women completed college or had demanding careers.
But that wasn't the case for my generation. We had the opportunity to prevent unwanted pregnancies. And we were encouraged by our mothers to get educations and delay marriage until we'd done some stuff.
This shift in the conception of marriage from a place where babies happen to a place where personal fulfillment is realized is a direct result of ladies like me delaying marriage and family in favor of education, personal exploration, and career.
Which brings me to gay marriage....
The argument goes that gay marriage will threaten the fundamental shape of the American Family by decoupling procreation from the marital unit. Leaving aside the obvious arguments that such a position fails to take into account infertile heterosexual couples or those heterosexual couples who choose not to have kids, the argument that gay marriage decouples marriage and children and turns marriage into an emotional and relational achievement is false.
Gay marriage does not and will not do that because it has already happened. And it happened under everybody's noses, and to many a parent's delight, as girls like me went to law school and delayed marriage and childbearing until we were in our 30s and 40s.
So don't blame the gay folks for the reimagining of the marital state. Marriage changed when your daughters went to school and work. Blame feminists for the change in the conception of marriage. Blame me. I reimagined it first. They're just following my lead.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Vegan Peanut Butter Cookies
Oh yum! I found a recipe online for vegan peanut butter cookies, and adapted it according to my tastes and pantry. The result is a yummy, chewy cookie that you'd probably not guess was animal-product-free. You could also probably make almond butter cookies, or even make them gluten free by using almond flour. ( I wonder if tahini cookies would be too weird.) I like playing around with recipes to make them my own. It's what makes cooking fun...a little bit of art, a little bit of science, a little ingenuity when you're missing an ingredient.....
So...anyway...recipe! Here we go!
1 tube Ella Organics butternut squash, carrot, apple, and prunes (or a little over half a cup of apple sauce)
3/4 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup soy milk
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/4 cup brown sugar
1 3/4 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
Bake at 375 (or 350 convection).
Sift together dry ingredients. Cream together the fruit/veg purée, peanut butter, soy milk, vanilla, and brown sugar. Add dry ingredients to the wet in three batches. Roll the stiff dough into 1.5 inch balls. If you want to be a traditionalist, roll the balls in white sugar before you place them on the cookie sheet. Do that peanut-butter-cookie-crosshatch-thing with a fork. Bake 8 to 10 minutes. Makes about 3 dozen cookies that look like the ones below. Yum!
So...anyway...recipe! Here we go!
1 tube Ella Organics butternut squash, carrot, apple, and prunes (or a little over half a cup of apple sauce)
3/4 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup soy milk
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/4 cup brown sugar
1 3/4 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp salt
Bake at 375 (or 350 convection).
Sift together dry ingredients. Cream together the fruit/veg purée, peanut butter, soy milk, vanilla, and brown sugar. Add dry ingredients to the wet in three batches. Roll the stiff dough into 1.5 inch balls. If you want to be a traditionalist, roll the balls in white sugar before you place them on the cookie sheet. Do that peanut-butter-cookie-crosshatch-thing with a fork. Bake 8 to 10 minutes. Makes about 3 dozen cookies that look like the ones below. Yum!
Sleeping on the floor
When your little guy cries out at 11:30 pm.... And you've soothed him and put him back to bed..., And you're still up an hour later...worrying, for no rational reason.
The only thing there is to do is make a pallet for yourself and sleep in the nursery floor, listening to the slow, soothing cadence of your sleeping toddler's breathing. Nighty night.
The only thing there is to do is make a pallet for yourself and sleep in the nursery floor, listening to the slow, soothing cadence of your sleeping toddler's breathing. Nighty night.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Veggie Barley Risotto
We've made Chicken Barley Risotto for years. I adapted from a recipe Mark Bittman created for Thanksgiving Turkey left overs, which I'd run across in the New York Times.
In an effort to reduce the amount of animal products we eat, I decided to see if our barley risotto could go vegan.
Oh yeah, it sure can!
I actually love this recipe better than the chicken version, so much so that I'm planning to put it into weekly rotation. And, The Working Dad went back for thirds. Whoop!
Here's the recipe:
First, a note: except for the barley, broth and water, I just eye-ball the measurements.
1 cup pearled barley
1.5 cup vegetable broth
1.5 cup water
2 table spoons canola or olive oil
2 shallots chopped
1.5 cup mushrooms (I used portobellos this time, but whatever you've got.)
1.5 cup chopped veggies (Here, you can experiment or just use what's in your fridge. I used asparagus and carrots because that's what I had on hand.)
3 handfuls baby spinach
1/3 cup soy parmesan (optional)
1 to 2 tablespoons of the herbs of your choice (You'll need less if you use dried. I just grabbed the Italian blend from my pantry, but dill or tarragon are lovely in the chicken version and would probably be great in this too.)
In a skillet, sauté (in the oil) the shallots, mushrooms, and chopped veggies until the veggies start to look bright whatever-color-they-are. Throw in the spinach and allow to wilt. Toss in the barley and toast it for a minute to a minute and a half. Pour in the broth and water. Add the herbs. Simmer on low until the barley cooks, 30 to 45 minutes. The barley and mushrooms make a nice sauce, so you can skip the soy cheese, if you like. But for a little added richness and flavor, toss in your soy cheese at the last minute and allow to melt. Serve by itself or with a salad and toast.
I can't wait to experiment with various farmers market veggies with this recipe this spring! Yummers!
In an effort to reduce the amount of animal products we eat, I decided to see if our barley risotto could go vegan.
Oh yeah, it sure can!
I actually love this recipe better than the chicken version, so much so that I'm planning to put it into weekly rotation. And, The Working Dad went back for thirds. Whoop!
Here's the recipe:
First, a note: except for the barley, broth and water, I just eye-ball the measurements.
1 cup pearled barley
1.5 cup vegetable broth
1.5 cup water
2 table spoons canola or olive oil
2 shallots chopped
1.5 cup mushrooms (I used portobellos this time, but whatever you've got.)
1.5 cup chopped veggies (Here, you can experiment or just use what's in your fridge. I used asparagus and carrots because that's what I had on hand.)
3 handfuls baby spinach
1/3 cup soy parmesan (optional)
1 to 2 tablespoons of the herbs of your choice (You'll need less if you use dried. I just grabbed the Italian blend from my pantry, but dill or tarragon are lovely in the chicken version and would probably be great in this too.)
In a skillet, sauté (in the oil) the shallots, mushrooms, and chopped veggies until the veggies start to look bright whatever-color-they-are. Throw in the spinach and allow to wilt. Toss in the barley and toast it for a minute to a minute and a half. Pour in the broth and water. Add the herbs. Simmer on low until the barley cooks, 30 to 45 minutes. The barley and mushrooms make a nice sauce, so you can skip the soy cheese, if you like. But for a little added richness and flavor, toss in your soy cheese at the last minute and allow to melt. Serve by itself or with a salad and toast.
I can't wait to experiment with various farmers market veggies with this recipe this spring! Yummers!
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